Gibbs: *sharply* Nicky, wake up! You’re drooling all over your keyboard. (shakes me gently)
Me: What? Huh? I’m awake, I’m awake. What’s shakin’ boss? (grins cheekily)
Gibbs: *sternly* What’s this? (holds up a stuffed doll that looks a lot like … Gibbs?)
Me: Um, don’t look at me, boss. (eyes widening) I’ve never seen that before.
Ironically, that’s the honest truth. Not that I don’t wish I’d come up with the idea.
Gibbs: Are you sure? (eyes narrowing)
Me: Absolutely. I think I’d remember if I’d seen something like that before. (nods emphatically)
Gibbs: *gruffly* Well, get rid of it. (tosses me the doll)
Me: *squeaking* Me? Why me, boss?
Gibbs: *growling* Because, you’re the writer, and because I said so. (strides out of the office)
Me: *sighing* So, what am I gonna do with you? (looking at Gibbs-doll)
Hehe, I guess I could put you on my bookshelf next to my Captain Picard and Captain Janeway dolls. Maybe they could use some company.
*** Loud sudden crash in the other room. Several voices swearing and talking softly. ***
Gibbs: *growling* Nicky, get your butt in here, immediately.
Me: Um, sure boss. On my way. (enters other room warily)
Gibbs: *scowling* Who are these people? (points across the room)
Me: *stammers* That’s uh, Captain Picard and Captain Janeway. They’re from Star Trek, boss. (eyes widen in surprised recognition)
How the hell did they get here? I haven’t written anything about them in years.
Gibbs: I know what Star Trek is, Nicky. What I want to know is how did they get here?
Me: *stammering* I don’t know, boss. Honestly, I didn’t call them. (cringing at the look Janeway’s giving me)
Sheesh, she’s almost as scary as Gibbs is.
Gibbs: *sternly* Well, if you didn’t call them, then who did?
Picard: *gravely* Yes, how did we get here, exactly?
Me: *gulping* Um, I think I might have an answer to that. (flinches at the force ten glare coming from Janeway)
Picard: *glaring* Well, spit it out. (takes a step in my direction)
Me: *stammering* I think it was my muse. (claps hand over my mouth to keep from blurting out anything else stupid)
Gibbs: Your. Muse? (looks at me in disbelief)
Me: *swallowing nervously* Um, yessir. You know, the part inside a person that gives them inspiration for what they do?
Picard: *glaring* And, this muse, as you call her, you have her under control, right? (rubs chin thoughtfully)
Me: Um, well, most of the time, yes. But, sometimes she gets away from me.
Picard: *glares pointedly* Well, you’d better get her back under control and keep her there. (disappears in the sparkle of a transporter)
Janeway: *smiles dangerously* I hope, for your sake, Nicky, something like this doesn’t happen again. (steps into my personal space) Because, I assure you, if it does, you will not like the consequences. (disappears in the sparkle of a transporter)
Whew! That was close. She is one very, scary lady. Hmmm, reminds me of Xena.
Me: *shakily* Well, that could have been worse.
Gibbs: *frostily* Who says it still isn’t? (steps into my personal space)
Me: *scared* Wha.. What do you mean, boss?
Gibbs: *skeptically* Your. Muse? Did you think I was really going to buy that ridiculous story? (turns me around)
Me: *gulping* But boss, it’s the truth. (whining and trying to sound like I’m not whining)
Gibbs: *SMACK* *SMACK*
Me: Ow! Gibbs! That’s not fair. (tries to twist out of reach of his very hard hand)
Gibbs: *sternly* Quit squirming. *SMACK*
Me: Ow! Boss, please. I wasn’t lying, not really.
Gibbs: *dryly* Is that so? And just where does your muse come from?
Me: *squirming* Um, inside my head. (hangs head, eyes on the ground)
Gibbs: Uh, huh. That’s what I thought. *SMACK* Now get back to work, and behave.
Me: *sniffling* Yes, boss. (rubs my bottom fiercely)
I guess it’s a good thing he doesn’t know who gave my muse the idea.
Me: (looks around furtively before hugging Gibbs-doll and putting it on the shelf with Picard-doll and Janeway-doll)
(return to NCIS Ficlets)
Words In My Head 